Da Wonders of Link and his friends
by NeverReallyBack
Summary: OMG!  Zelda is dead!  Who will Link choose as the next Zelda!  Warning: Language and pure randomness! With a talking pony. Consider yourself warned!   LinkEpona
1. Chapter 1

_Hello everyone! This is a __Weird__ story written by me and my friend Hannah. We are fans of Zelda: Twilight Princess. And while we were playing we named Link Da Crap and his horse Da Ass. I wrote the first chapter to cheer up Hannah, and she came over to my house to finish the rest. _

**Warning: **_Language and extreme randomness!!! Talking Horse! Consider yourself warned!_

_This may have a crossover with beyblade later on in chapters. _

_We do not own any of the characters in this fic, except myself and Hannah. Well, I don't own Hannah, she owns herself._

_Remember, Link is Da Crap and his horse is Da Ass._

_Oh, and please don't flame! Please review though!!!!!!!!_

_**Da Wonders of Link, His horse, Heather, Hannah and Zelda**__**Da bitch**_

_**Chapter One**_

**Heather:** -hops out of nowhere- I'm an Evil bunny with a silver face -points to face- And I have come to get you! Muhahaha! -chokes- HaHaHa -chases Hannah around room-

**Hannah:** OMG! A BUNNY!

**Heather:** -trips over magical tooth brush-

**Hannah:** -Gir's voice- A tooth brush! (Gir off of invader Zim)

**Da Crap:** I tinkled -points to wet spot on pants-

**Heather and Hannah:** EW!

**Da Ass:** Holy Crap!

**Hannah:** Uh. . . What the heck is going on?

**Da Crap:** Hannah! Zelda has been killed. . . by a semi truck--------

**Heather:** -throws semi truck keys in toilet-

**Da Crap:** WTF? Neways, YOU! -points at hannah- Will be da new Zelda.

**Heather:** -turns human- Sweet! Hannah's a princess! Hannah's a princess! -does the numa numa dance-

**Hannah:** Oh My god! I'm a princess! I'm a princess! -dances around like a gay guy-

**Heather:** Does this mean you two are going to get married?

-room goes silent-

**Hannah**: -fishes for semi truck keys in toilet- I'm not marring Da Crap!

**Da Crap:** Who said anything like that? I was told to fetch you, and after this im going home to teach those brats how to use a sword.

**Hannah:** -doesn't hear Da Crap- I'm not marring him!

**Heather:** -steps away from Hannah- She's insane! But that's why we love her! -looks at hannah- If your going to use my. . . -looks at Da Crap- I mean Some random semi truck, don't scratch it up! It looks really nice!

**Hannah:** -gets keys- Hi Da Crap! -hops in Semi truck and runs over Da Crap-

**Heather:** -eats popcorn-

**Da Ass:** -oo- OMFG! You killed him!

**Hannah:** Time to be a princess- -turns into ninja and walks away-

**Heather:** uh. . . . -looks at Da ass- Get away! -turns into evil bunny with a silver face and hops away-

_**The End**_

**__**


	2. Chapter 2

_Hello Everyone! I hope you enjoyed the last chapter! _

**Warning: **_Language and extreme randomness!!! Talking Horse! Consider yourself warned!_

_This may have a crossover with beyblade later on in chapters. _

_We do not own any of the characters in this fic, except myself and Hannah. Well, I don't own Hannah, she owns herself._

_**Remember, Link is Da Crap and his horse is Da Ass.**_

_Oh, and please don't flame! Please review though!!!!!!!!_

We didn't put this on the first chapterso we'll ex_plain our ages and what we look like_

_**Da Crap/Link**_

**Age: 18**

**Hair: Blonde**

**Clothes: green cloak, and sexy white tights, and brown boots with a green pointy hat**

**Personality: Clueless at times/ depending if he's drunk or depending on the moment**

_**Da Ass/ a talking pony:**_

**Age: 10 pony years**

**Hair: brown body hair with white main and tail**

**Clothes: ass naked**

**Personality: likes to say Holy Crap**

_**Heather(me):**_

**Age:13**

**Hair: radish brown roots with brown dye**

**Clothes: Newest Hardy boy T-shirt With Hardy boy necklace and ripped jeans and black fingerless gloves made by Doona my Grandma.**

**Personality: hyper and weird/ but good-natured; kind**_**Believes that Cheese Grows on Apples**_**LOVES SEMI TRUCKS! IF I HAD A CHOW CHOW I WOULD NAME IT SEMI TRUCK!**

_**Hannah/random friend:**_

**Age: 15 (in real life 13, but we are changing it for story)**

**Hair:****Brown with Blond highlights.**

**Clothes: One tank top sleeve on da left shoulder and 3/4 length sleeve on da right shoulder (two separate shirts) and mini skirt that ruffles**

**Personality: Extremely hyperactive and unusually energetic****Likes Gir off of Invader Zim. Smart. Thinks to deeply at times **

_**Zelda/ white bitch**_

**Age: 19**

**Hair: blonde**

**Clothes: pink strapless silk dress down to her pointy toes and white gloves and gold tiara for her bitchiness**

**Personality: Kinda bitchy. Wants to be princess of Kindom and will do anything to do so. . . Truly hates semi trucks with a passion****Likes Evil Laughter**_ Muahahaha!_

_**Da Wonders of Link, His horse, Heather, Hannah and Zelda Da bitch**_

_**Chapter 2**_

**Heather:** -plays poker with Da Ass and Da Crap in Hannah's kitchen-

**Da Ass:** Go fish

**Da Crap:** WTF?

**Heather:** We're playing poker. . .

**Hannah:** -walks into kitchen-

**Da Ass:** Holy Crap!

**Hannah:** What the fuck?!? Your alive! -points to Da Crap- I killed you!!

**Da crap:** Yeah. . . about that. . .

**Heather:** Hi Hannah! How's being a princess!

**Hannah:** I Quit. Anyways, Da Crap. . . Lets talk! Um. . . How do I say this. . . Lets get married! I was drunk when I ran over you. . .

**Da Crap: **No. No! NO!!!!!NO!!!!!! You lie! -runs away-

**Heather:** HEY! We didn't finish playing poker! -turns to Hannah- What the hell!

**Da Ass: **Holy Crap!

**Hannah:** Okay. . . What are you doing here. . . In my kitchen. . . playing poker. . . with a pony and a weird little man. . .

**Heather:** Uh. . . I like your kitchen. . .

**Da Ass: **It looks like holy crap!

**Heather:** You mean like Crap from heaven?

**Da Ass:** Yeah! Holy Crap!

**Heather: **How in the hell can Crap be holy! It's Crap!

**Da Ass:** people Crap in heaven you know?!?

**Heather:** No they don't! Why the hell would people need to crap in heaven!

**Da Ass:** They eat don't they! If they don't crap it out, they will become fat! And then you'll have a bunch of overweight fatty angel loosers trying to fly in heaven. . .

**Heather:** What the fuck! Hannah! Please tell Da Ass that people don't Crap in heaven!

**Hannah:** Um. . . I'm sorry. . . but I have to go. . . -leaves room-

**Heather and Da Ass:** -Follows Hannah into other room- Get back here! -tackles Hannah- Why aren't you a princess anymore! Why are me and Da Ass/Heather saying everything at the same time.

**Hannah:** -cries- Cause Zelda came back to life! And she kicked me out of da kindom

**Heather:** Did you just say condom?

**Hannah:** oops, the secret is out!

**Da Ass: **Holy Crap!

**Heather:** Why do you think Da Crap is holy? He's not Holy! He's Da Crap!

**Hannah:** -ignores da two- And now I need to marry Da Crap to kick Zelda out of Da Kindom!

**Heather: **You mean Kingdom???

**Hannah:** No. . . Dun dun dun. . . . .

**Da Crap: **-walks into room- What's up bitches! -drunk-

**Heather:** OMG! He's Fuckin Drunk!

**Da Ass:** Holy Crap!

**Heather:** -gets pissed- Why the heck do you keep saying 'Holy Crap' I'm gonna Holy Crap you! -grabs semi truck and runs over the pony known as Da Ass-

**Da Crap:** Bitch! You ran -falls on floor- Ran! Over my pony! -vomit-

**Heather:** -looks away- EW!

**Spirit of Da Ass: **-looks at Sexy Drunken Da Crap- Poor Boy

**Hannah: **Will you marry me?

**Da Crap:** -drunk talk- Sure. . .

**Heather:** HANNAH! Da Crap is Drunk! You can't ask him now! That's wrong!

**Hannah: **Shut up fucker! -spins- I mean, so. . .

**Heather:** -turns into evil bunny with silver face and hops away-

**Da Crap:** I'm gonna go, to bed

**Hannah:** Me Too. Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Muhahahahahahahaha! Muhahahahahahaha! Muhahahahahah! MuHaHa! MU. . Never Mind. . .

_**End Of Chapter**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning: **_Language and extreme randomness!!! Talking Horse! Consider yourself warned!_

_This may have a crossover with beyblade later on in chapters. _

_We do not own any of the characters in this fic, except myself and Hannah. Well, I don't own Hannah, she owns herself._

_**Remember, Link is Da Crap and his horse is Da Ass.**_

_Oh, and please don't flame! Please review though!!!!!!_

Next Day. . . dun dun dun. . .

**Da Crap:** Eh. . Blah. . . -wakes up now- OMFG! Why is Da Princess Hannah In bed with me! -thinks- 'I cant let anyone know I'm G-'

**Hannah:** -wakes up- Stop thinking Da Crap! You will hurt your brain! Oh. Oh. Oh.. Oh, and by the way bitch, I'm marring you! I'm marrying you! I'm marrying you! _(Have you seen shoes by Kelly? Well, if you have you will know where she got that saying _except the marrying part she got the oh. . . part)

**Da crap:** Uh. . . why. . .

**Hannah:** Cause Zelda kicked me out of Da Kindom! So I have to Marry you! Were getting married at Hyrule. And our honey moon is in Vegas.

**Da Crap:** Where the heck is Hyrule! Oh I know where. . . Never mind. . . Wait, where the hell is Vegas? Wait Wait WAIT! But I don't like you that way! EW! I'm not stra. . . never mind. . .

**Hannah:** What the fuck? Are you gay?!?!? -00-

**Da Crap: **Well. . . I-

**Heather:** -walks into room- I made tea!

**Hannah:** Get away! We were about to have sex!

**Heather:** OH MY GOD! -runs to my mom-

**Da Ass: **Hey, I kinda shit on the love seat, hope you don't mind. I would clean it up but. . . I have pony hands -holds up pony hands-

**Da Crap:** Well. Heh. Guess I gotta clean it Hannah. -YAY! I'M SAVED!-

**Hannah: **Da Ass, can I ask you something?

**Da Ass: **Holy Crap!

**Hannah: **Okaaaay. . . is that a yes?

**Da Ass: **Maybe -gives sly look-

**Hannah: **Is Da Crap gay?

**Heather: **-barges in room with hands covering eyes- Who shit on da love seat?!!! I sat in it! -points to ass-

**Da Ass: **Holy Crap!!!

**Heather: **Yeah! Holy Crap!-ties Da Ass to a big ass cinder block and dumps in river-

**Hannah: **No one ever told me if Da Crap was gay!!! -travels to Japan to find answer-

**Heather: **-gets an idea- I'll Go To Kindom! -goes to kindom-

**Da Crap: **I'm coming with you!

**Heather and Da Crap: **Oh. . . My. . . Fucking. . . god. . . The castle is in the shape of a. . .

**Hannah: **A Condom

**Heather: **Hannah! I thought you were in Japan trying to figure out if Da Crap is gay!?!

**Hannah: **What the heck are you talking about???? I've been here the whole time

**Da Crap: **What's going on? -starts to cry- I'm so confused!

**Heather: **-grabs Da Crap's hand- It's okay. . . Your brain can't take this shit. . .

**Hannah: **You're confused? I was in France buying cheese for Heather! And in my spare time ruling Kindom!

**Heather: **AW, thanks. Wait, who's the Hannah that interrupted mine, Da Ass and Da Crap's poker game and said she was going to marry Da Crap!?!?!? -00-

**Hannah: **Uh. . . what? . . .hmmmm. . .IT'S ZELDA! She digs Da Crap's tights!!!

**Heather: **And you would know this why???

**Hannah: **It's obvious! Everyone knows her game company in Japan can warp her a virtual army in seconds!!!

**Heather**: What the fuck are you talking about little princess woman. . . Womany woman

**Da Crap: **Am I in this?

**Hannah: **I'm afraid you're only a victim. Hee hee.

**Heather: **-mimics Hannah- I'm afraid you're only a virgin! Hee hee. Tea. Tea is good.

**Hannah:** Actually, he did it with Zelda apparently. . . I want tea!

**Heather: **I wasn't being serious! Virgin and Victim start with VI. And have you been spying on us? And yes, I will go make tea. -walks off into the condom castle-

**Hannah: **-yells- I have messengers now!!! faster than dial up!!!

**Heather: **Don't tease me bitch! I know my computer is slow! Grrrr -makes chipmunk sound-Well, I'm going inside the castle. . .

**Hannah: **-talks to Da Crap- So. . . why are you at my condom styled castle anyways?!

**Da Crap: **I'm going inside the castle. . . -looks at gates with condoms nailed to them- WTF??? -runs inside to see condoms taped to walls- SHIT!!!!! Oh my shit! -falls onto ass-

**Hannah: **I guess I have to go to Japan and stop Zelda from doing bad things there! I wont allow her to hurt the Little Japanese dudes!!!! -goes to airport- -get's in long line- -before stepping on plane, plane get's delayed- -waits 2 hours- -falls asleep- -misses plane- -waits for next flight which is in morning- -wakes up at right time and gets on goddamned plane and steps on Japan grounds.-

_**End of chapter **_


	4. Chapter 4

Hey! Sorry it's been so long . . .!

**War****n****ing: **_Language and extreme randomness!!! Talking Horse, bitchy Zelda and two idiots with fake IDs._

_**Chapter **__**summary**__Hannah finally arrives in Japan to stop Zelda. What will happen? What will Heather and Link do?? Vegas?_

Please Review! Flames are now welcome! You can flame your heart out if you like. . . I wouldn't blame you . . . this story doesn't have a descent plot and the characters are a little stupid. . . Like my character. . . Teehee.

**Chapter 4**

Hannah: -finally arrives in Japan- -thinks 'where would she be?'-

Ramon seller: -yells- Hey girl! Get back here!

Hannah: Err. . . Yes?

Ramon seller: you're the little punk who stole my rupees!

Hannah: You mean rubies?

Ramon seller: No. . . . –takes a deep breath- Just give them back to me and I won't have to call the police little silly American girl.

Hannah: Wait? That wasn't me! It was Zelda!

Ramon seller: Now kid . . . no need in lying, just give back my rupees. . .

Hannah: No! You don't understand! I took Zelda's kindom and now she wants it back so she's made herself look like me to get it back!

Ramon seller: you mean kingdom?

Hannah: No damnit! Kindom! You know, like condom!

Ramon seller: You're bad at lying. . .

Hannah: How much do I owe you?

Ramon seller: 500 rupees.

Hannah: shit.

**With Heather and Da crap**

Da Crap: You want to go to Vegas?

**Back with Hannah**

Hannah: Where the heck am I suppose to know where to get rupees! –Kicks a pumpkin and finds a green ruby shaped object- Oh.

**With H****eater**** and D****a ****C****rap**

Heather: You got the fake IDs?

Da Crap: Yuppers –hands Heather the ID.-

Heather: -anime sweat drop- Link . . . why is my name Jeff Hardy . . . ? And why am I 56?

Da Crap: You wear his t-shirt. And. . . . I just put down a random year. . .

Heather: -hits the back of Da crap's head with hand- Like they're gonna believes this!

Da Crap: Oh. . . You think they'll believe mine? (ID: Name: Link Hardy. Birth date: 6/6/1666)

Heather: Okay. . . Hey! You took my last name!

Da Crap: Oops!!!!!

Heather: Yeah Oops! Now they're going to think you're my brother! –Starts to walk into bar-

Da Crap: Well. . . We're not the same age.

Heather: Still. . .

**With Zelda:**

Zelda: It wasn't a good idea coming here without any rupees. . . That Ramón seller only had 500. . .–looks over and see's Hannah tipping over a pot and grabbing the rupee- What the fuck is she doing here! –Calls over to Hannah- Hey!

Hannah: -looks up- Huh?

Zelda: Give me those rupees!

Hannah: What!?! I'm trying to pay back that Ramon dude back the money you stole!!

Zelda: I need more rupees!

Hannah: No!

Zelda: I need it now!

Hannah: Only if you can catch me! –Runs around in a big circle around zelda screaming like a little kid- Ah! She's gonna get me!

Zelda: -rolls eyes and pokes Hannah when she passes by-

Hannah: Aw. . . I knew it . . . -Gives Zelda the 499 rupees she had found-

Zelda: Thank you.

Hannah: No problem –hugs Zelda-

Zelda: -pulls away- why are you here?

Hannah: To stop you!

**Back with H****eather**** and D****a ****C****rap**

Heather: -smiles and grabs onto Da Crap to steady self-

Da Crap: I think your drunk . . . –smirks-

Heather: Well, you-are . . . not, so drink more. –Grabs glass and gives it to Da Crap-

Da Crap: Heather . . . this is the water I've been buying for you cause your 14. . .

Heather: That is so . . . sexy. –Grabs Da Crap's neck and pulls into kiss-

Da Crap: -eyes widen- -'I'm Dating Da Ass though!'-

Heather: -pulls apart and whispers in Da Crap's ear- Link. . .

Da Crap: Oh, what the crap . . . –gets a hotel room and drags Heather along-

End of chapter

Yuppers

Okay . . . that was not where we were going with this but whatever!

Please review!


	5. Chapter 5

Wow! It's been like 1 year and a month ago! Sweet! But we have decided to finish it. . . Or at least write another chapter.

**WARNING: **Child molester humor in this. If you do not want to read push the shiney back button.

**Chapter 5**

Chapter 5 Da Crap: -pacing back and forth in front of bed of hotel- OhMyGod! OhMyGod! I cheated on Epona!

Heather: -sitting on bed- So that's his real name . . . who the fuck made that up? Epona. . . . -giggles-

Da Crap: Oh god! I need to go find him!

Heather: Let me come with!

Da Crap: -yells- You've done enough!

Heather: Well Link! This was just as much your fault as it is mine! Cheeze!

Da Crap: Don't you mean jeez? Heather: No! I said cheeze!!

Da Crap: But it's jeez!

Heather: So. . .

Da Crap: What-eva -leaves room-

Heather: OH MY GOD! I freaking left him at the river!……shit dangit!

With Hannah:

Hannah: -walks around Japan broke and alone-

Ramon dude: Hey kid. -smiles-Hannah: -freezes- Ramon dude: I saw you and that Zelda bitch. I guess you were telling the truth.

Hannah: Oh yeah. . .

Ramon dude: Hey are you alright??

Hannah: No. . . -says bluntly-

Ramon Dude: Come back to my shop and have a bowl of Ramon. -thumbs up-

Hannah: No thanks. Look I have to go. I need to find my friends so they can help me defeat Zelda. Bye dude who sells Ramon! -waves goodbye and runs off-

Ramon dude: -frowns-

Hannah: -RUNS away from stalker to a tree in the middle of nowhere- Sigh! ...did I really say that out loud?...anyways! -stops and listens-

Da Ass: -jumps out of Hannah's pocket- Haha! You never found me! I was in your pocket!!

Hannah: Are you serious?!

Da Ass: Holy Crap! Did you not see me jump out of your pocket?!

Hannah: Um. . . no. . . OMG!! Screw off right now! What were you doing anyway?

Da Ass: ... (gets really quiet)

Hannah: Please leave me alone? (Da Ass sadly goes away and sits on a random bench in the middle of a make believe Japanese dessert)

Hannah: -hears another noise-

At Hannah's house. . .

Toilet: that semi truck key tasted nasty!! I wonder where THAT'S been…..eww!

Back With Hannah- And yes, the "Back at Hannah's house" was just to break up the action...(wind blows) MOVING ON?! In the middle of a sakura forest

Hannah: Who's there?

Kakashi: Wassup? My name's Kakashi. I come out here to read this book.

Hannah: I like reading. What's it about?

Kakashi: It's called "Make Out Tactics".

Hannah: Really? Is it good? And yeah, I'm interested in it. . . a lot of other girls would just think it's stupid.

Kakashi: Yeah. I see what you mean. Hannah: Umm. I'm sorry. I'm on a mission to save my friends. Wanna come with?

Kakashi: I'd actually like to. . . but I'm stuck with a dumbass hopefull that wants to become a ninja. Actually three: Naruto, Sasuke and . . . umm. Sakura is just useless.

Hannah: Oh I'm sorry. I'd love to become a ninja though. Maybe you could teach me in a few chapters later?

Kakashi: I'd be delighted.

Hannah: Good. Then it's a date?

Kakashi: Totally. See ya later. -continues reading- Score! I got some random American girl to go out with me on a date that's an underaged minor! SWEET! I better go to Kindom to get some condoms, they have the best!

With Da Crap

Da Crap: -arrives in Japan and sees Da Ass sitting on a bench- Okay. . . Here I go. . . -walks up to Da Ass- Hey Epona. . .

Da Ass: Link! What are you doing here! I though you were watching Heather?

Da Crap: Yeah about her. . .

Da Ass: Is she okay? Did You tease her about being raised by Semi trucks again?

Da Crap: We were at a bar.

Da Ass: Did she shoot someone again!

Da Crap: No. . . She drank a few glasses of water and thought it was alcohol and acted all drunk.

Da Ass: Did she go butt rape some guy again!

Da Crap: No! We got a hotel room!

Da Ass: Did she start sleep walking and fell out the window again?

Da Crap: NO!! We slept together!

Da Ass: -goes silent- holy crap

Da Crap: Epona. . . -reaches out to Da Ass-

Da Ass: No. . . -pushes hand away with pony hand- Where is she?

Da Crap: I don't kn- OH GOD SHE'S VEGAS ALONE!-whispers- Please, I'm sorry! -sees Da Ass walk off and cries-

With Heather

Heather: I'm going to do something illegal! !!WWWEEEE!!

Back with Da Crap:

Da Crap: -cries- Hannah: Hey Da Crap! What are you doing here!

Da Crap: Hey. . . Hannah: What's wrong?

Da Crap: I cheated on Da Ass for Heather. . .

Hannah: -grabs Da Crap by throat- What did you say! You better not have hurt her!

Da Crap: I didn't! She thought she was drunk anyways!

Hannah: -let's go of Da Crap- Oh. Okay. We're cool then. Sorry about that.

Da Crap: YaY!

Hannah: Just don't tell her family, those semi trucks might get mad!

Da Crap: I know!

Hannah and Da Crap: makes jokes about heather and her semi truck family for the next 3 hours, 59 minuets, and 59.9 seconds-

Hannah: Okay I'm bored. . . Da Crap: Me too. . .

Ramon Dude: -pops out of Hannah's pocket- Hey girly girl person who is also a woman

Hannah: Ramon dude! What are you doing!! What the crap is up with my freaking pocket?!

Ramon dude: I. . . I'm going now. . . -walks off-

Hannah: Awkward. . . do you have pocket problems, Da Crap? Cause I do. . .

Da Crap: Ummmmm. . . noooooot reeeeaaaally? I'm goin' with Ramen Dude over there. . . (runs towards Ramen Dude) . . . Wait up! I'm a molester too!!

Da Crap keeps running but gets lost in sakura forest

Da Crap: -sees Kakashi- Hey…was sup?

Kakashi: Reading about sex and porn

Da Crap: sigh. Got any kids in it?

Kakashi: Hell yah!

Orochimaru: COUNT ME IN!

Kakashi: God, he just won't leave! Why do YOU get the sexy children…Sasuke, Kabuto-

Orochimaru: . . . Well, maybe because I have candy and cool fancy cars and a long tounge. . .

Da Crap: You guys are awesome

Sasuke: I like shiney! -runs into Orochimarus car-

Kakashi: Now I understand the way of children's fragile little minds…-Pulls out shiney car from his pocket.- HEY! Come and get it!!

Guy Sensei: SHINEY!!

Kakashi: Ah shit

Back With Heather Heather: -scratches Wal-Mart with a semi truck key-

Back with Da Ass

Da Ass: so Zelda. . . Do we have a deal?

Zelda: yes my pony friend, we do.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Heather: -gets tackled by police at Wal-mart, in public-

With Hannah:

Hannah: -walking around sakura forest and spots a cave-

Sign out side of cave: "Zelda's Evil Cave of doom. . Do not ever, ever, EVER enter."

Hannah: Hmm…whose cave is this? Won't hurt to go in I guess. At least it doesn't belong to that Zelda bitch. -Walks in-

Zelda and Da Ass screwing each other - AHHHH!!

Hannah: OH GOD! O-Oh God. . .

Zelda: Didn't you read the sign!!

Hannah: I didn't think the cave belonged to you!

Zelda: Really? I thought I put my name on it.

Hannah: Nope, didn't see it.

Zelda: Are you sure! I thought I painted the words "Zelda's evil cave of doom.'

Hannah: Honestly, it's not on there.

Zelda: Will you go look for me, cause if it's not on there, I need to.

Hannah: Oh yeah!

Zelda: Yeah?

Hannah: Yeah, no problem! -Goes out to look at sign- Damn it! It was on there! -Walks back in cave and see them at it again- At least use one of my kindom condoms please?

Zelda: Oh, no thanks. I use Trojan… Was it there?

Hannah: NO DAMMIT!

Zelda: Oh well, then excuse me.

Hannah: Wow. I just saw a horse penis. Eww

Zelda: -comes back- IT WAS THERE!

Hannah: Run! Wait, why are you even here?! I thought Heather dumped you in a river about 2 or 3 chapters ago?!

Da Ass: Yeah, and YOU were supposed to pick me up!

Hannah: NO! That was Zelda!

Da Ass: Honey! Did you leave me at a pier with a bunch of guys in semi trucks and smelly fish guts?!

Zelda: No minion.

Da Ass: Ok then. SEE HANNAH!

Hannah: Shut up. . .

DA Crap: -falls through ceiling- Hey guys.

Hannah: Da Crap?

Da Crap: Hey guys

Da Ass: DA Crap?

Da Crap: Hey guys

Zelda: Link!

Da Crap: Hey guys

Da Ass: Hey guys! The news is on!

Zelda: What the heck, I don't have cable. . .

News lady: Tonight police spotted vandalism near our local Wal-Mart. The identity is still being found, so please forgive us. But here is our video footage on spot.

Video goes to Heather skipping along side wal-mart using a key to scratch it. Then cops show up.

Heather: No! Get away from me! I'm not going back there! -Gets tackled by police-

End of video

Da Ass: Holy Crap!

Da Crap: Should we go bail her out?

Zelda: No

Hannah: -bitch slaps Zelda-

Da Crap: -bitch slaps Da Ass's ass-

Da Ass: Holy Crap!

Back to Kakashi

Kakashi: -lying in bed with Guy sensei- How the fuck did this happen again?


End file.
